So Im reading online and come across
this blog post. On it, the writer is questioning whether or not men are still interested in chasing women. After the questions, she just lets her readers flesh out the rest of the post with their comments and dialog between one another. One bit of conversation caught my attention because the homeboy had JUST complained of this behavior last night; that women want to be sweated for the sake of their ego/self esteem more than they want an actual relationship.
One male reader responded with this:
Are guys still interested in chasing women though? I think the problem with the chase is some women confuse being chased and pursued with being SWEATED. Some women like the attention that comes from giving your number out and never taking the guys calls, always flaking out on dates, playing games, etc. This makes some women feel like they are in DEMAND and gives them an ego boost. I think if you are interested in a guy, you should be receptive beyond just showing up for the date. I think the woman should reciprocate a conscious effort because if she doesn’t the guy will eventually wise up (no pun intended) and realize he is doing all the work and then probably move on.
A female reader responded to him and said this:
It is something to say for maturity. I’m not talking necessarily age, but mindset....Start off relatively small and work your way up. If she’s into you...she’ll have no problem reciprocating.
Personally, I feel like relationships should be like breathing - completely natural and fluid. The moment you start to feel like "if I don't call/text this person, we won't talk" is the same moment you might wanna re-evaluate the position that you might currently be in when it comes to that person's life. The last thing I would recommend to ANY individual is to be a consolation prize, "back-up plan" or "ego stroke" for someone who has no intentions of allowing you out of that much maligned area known as the friend zone - and that goes for both males and females.
On the flip side, you must consider how emotionally banged up most people are these days (again, both male and female). Oftentimes, people can be quite hesitant to let people into their inner circle just off the strength of your word; especially after being deceived by some of the worst people on this side of Hell. Things may not be as simple as they use to be when all you had to do is write "I like you, do you like me? Circle one: yes or no". This is something that HAS to be account for. With that being said, I think the REAL question that has to be raised here is not "are men tired of chasing", but instead, what are the motivations of the woman who is making the man chase and how long is long enough before she breaks the news to him - good or bad? We don't hate the chase; we hate the FRUITLESS chase. The whole purpose of the chase is the need to fulfill our hopes of eventually capturing the prize that we are after.
In the end, my advice to everyone who finds themselves in a situation like this is to.... wait... I don't really have any advice because it really just depends on the heart of the person you're chasing. I don't imagine a good person would intentionally string you along once they get an inclination of your intentions. I guess the best thing to do is to try to only attempt to date people who have high self esteem so you won't be needed as a "boost" and pray to God they don't have
stupid friends in their ear giving them bad ideas about how to deal with the opposite sex.