Django Unchained Was Awesome

So... If you're one of the few people who have yet to see the epic-ness known as Django Unchained, you are missing out.  The movie was great.  In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it was one of the best movies I've seen this year (well... at least top two) and DEFINITELY one of my favorite Tarantino films. Hands down.

That being said... everybody doesn't have such a positive outlook on it. I've heard comments like "this is going to set us back 200 years" and even came across a Spike Lee interview where he says that the film is "disrespectful to my ancestors".  (On a side note, is it me or does Spike Lee seem to have something negative to say about every major film depicting black life that he doesn't have his hands on? Hmmm... )

Yes, the film does depict slavery. Yes, the film does use the N-word when referring to black people... but, honestly, if you want to pick a battle, this is the wrong one.  Why, you ask? Because this story is essentially the dramatized love spin-off story of Nat Turner on steroids. Don't get me wrong... there were a couple terrible moments in the film; this is a film set during slavery time, after all... The thing is, this film depicted Jamie Foxx KILLING slave owners, overseers and white outlaws for bounty.  Forgive me if I'm wrong but, if this is disrespectful, I think a lot of black people can live with it.  By the way, I only recall TWO slaves died the entire film and at no point did I experience the that inner rage feeling like when I saw Rosewood.

Jamie Foxx was awesome. He spoke up for himself and had very few moments where he felt like "boy".  Honestly, he was more of a superhero during slavery time who inspired the slaves than he was a slave. Check out the interview and then go see the film if you haven't already.  It was good.



Big Boi - Decoded

Man... This fella had me crackin up when he started talkin about PETA. He had some other good points he brought up too. At any rate, check out what this fella talking about, laugh, and learn as he decodes some of the stuff that he says on a couple of his tracks off of his album that was released today titled "Viscious Lies and Dangerous Rumors".  Click the cover below to get the album off of iTunes.  If you ain't ready to purchase the his project just yet, check out his track with TI and Ludacris called "In The A".  It's below and that song is good. Very good...

 


Old Spice and Mutombo Save the World



Things just go real... Old Spice does it again... Previously they did a crazy commercial with Terry Crews titled Muscle Music... This time they do a collaboration with Dikembe Mutombo, and, with a little bit of your help, they are going to save the world.  Click the photo and check out "Old Spice Presents: Dikembe Mutombo's 4 1/2 Weeks to Save the World"

*Warning* The music starts playing immediately upon entering the site.


Commencement... Gilles

You've met Gilles (pronounced "Jeelz") already... 

And you saw him perform...




It's now time to experience his interestingness.  He has decided to prepare the people to receive his upcoming mixtape wonderfully titled "Successfully Lost" by releasing a lovely little video which I have so gracefully decided to share with you all below.

The video is for a song titled "Commencement" and it was produced by a guy named J. Baker.  Check out the video... And enjoy it.

 

www.supergilles.com 
twitter.com/supergilles 
facebook.com/supergilles 
Directed by Awful Media
For ALL inquiries: Please contact Donte Flanagan [at] afterEDU@gmail.com

Meet the "Tontations"

This was interesting... Apparently, Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 and Motown had a bit of a sense of humor... Never saw this video before today.  Thank you EgotripLand!




(Yes, the Jackson 5 are in fat suits making fun of the Temptations)

Andre 3000 does an interview

Hey man... We don't get to hear from this guy very often... so when we do, we pay attention. Watch the video.  He's talking about T.I., Big Boi, OutKast, collaborations and other stuff. Peep the video below.





On some other related stuff... T.I. is talking about his experience with Andre 3000.

Simple. Efficient. Effective.

I don't have much to say about this... but I have a question: How many of you could live like this on a day to day basis for a year without experiencing cabin fever?  One side of me loves this; sometimes simple is better.  The other side of me says that this doesn't look comfortable at all.  Where is my love seat and TV?! If people come over, we can't all sit on this wood bench with pillows.  But maybe I'm wrong... Maybe this is the problem with Americans... Maybe we feel like we need too much... Maybe this is all we need. Simple. Efficient. Effective.

The Romney Supporter

In the spirit of all this election stuff, a video has been brought to my attention... This was posted on World Star Hip Hop.  Now, in defense of Mitt Romney, we can't assume that the people this guy who is doing the interviewing talked to were Romney's biggest and brightest supporters.  We just can't.  The video could have been edited in a particular fashion to put specific characteristics of his supporters on display.  That being said, I personally don't agree with the statement I just made because I consider myself fairly smart and, after watching the debates, CNN and Fox news, in addition to several articles online (from MSN to AJC), and video excerpts on Yahoo, MSN, and Youtube, I can't honestly say I know much about Romney's plan either.  If the interviewer would have caught me on camera, all I would have been able to say is that he's changing abortion and birth control, he's not endorsing the gay marriage movement and he doesn't have a 5 trillion dollar tax plan (he denied that several times in the debates). I also get the "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" and  "reduce government" vibe from him. Outside of that, it's been a little bit of an enigma to me; the details seem a bit scarce. I will say that he and his campaign did a VERY good job of pointing out Obama's "flaws" and what he didn't accomplish; they just didn't do a very good job of establishing in the minds of the people what his plan for the future is and what he would do differently outside of what I have mentioned above.  Honestly, Romney is trying to do to Obama what Obama did to McCain.  Obama painted McCain as "more of the same" after we had gotten done with Bush.  Romney is using that same "we don't want more of the same" platform.  It's actually a VERY good platform to run on considering how bad things have been for many people over the past 12 years... but his campaign forgot that the second reason Obama won was his message of change coupled with a plan he intended to execute.  (On a sidenote: I honestly blame all of the foolishness that occurred in congress as the number one cause of this nation's stunted development underneath President Obama... The President's wings were clipped... but that's another story.)  At any rate, watch the video.

 

Finally Again... Clyde Moonshine

Remember when I introduced you to Clyde Moonshine and said that "the CD might be something like the music you would expect a Marvin Gaye, Andre 3000 and Rick James collaboration to sound like in this new millenium"? This is one of the more "out there" tracks. It's some raw Moonshine footage displayed artistically... Enjoy.

"You can call it trippy... You can call it psychedelic... You can also call it awesome." - Clyde Moonshine

 

Pharrell Williams - ARTST TLK


This is what I like to see: people sitting in a room with one another that probably, under normal circumstances, wouldn't sit in the same room.  Pharrell Williams is interviewing people on a show called Artst Tlk on a network called the Reserve Channel, which is in itself cool because it gives a people who wouldn't normally have talk/TV shows the opportunity to have a TV show.  Pharrell sits with two guess each episode and they dialog about their ideas, their work, what motivated them to get started, what keeps them going, and the philosophies behind their ideals.  Insight into other great people's lives is always amazing... but this is the type of amazing we need. Not just the random and/or ignorance that reality TV plays up; we also need insight into the intellectual and artistic side of people's minds as well.  I like what Pharrell is doing. Check out one of the videos after the jump and enjoy.

Politics and the economy and stuff...

Normally I don't talk politics... cause I hate it and the online dialog about it typically causes all types of racial nastiness. I honestly think all the debates sound like those elementary debates where our peers at the time would get up on the podium in the school cafeteria and promise pizza everyday and an extra hour's worth of recess.  They were willing to say ANYTHING to get the gain the people's support.

Things haven't changed much since we've hit the adult world.

Those same people are still promising things that they don't have the power to control in order to get a vote (evident in President Obama's Presidency more than any other I can remember; the republicans handicapped almost every move he tried to make.)  A vote that only "kinda" matters sometimes (example: see the George Bush incident in 2000 when he lost the popular vote but won over the electoral college).

But I had a thought process sparked while I was in line to vote...

A gentlemen who was not much further ahead of me in line was speaking with this lady and he caught my attention because he said something about the democratic party.  Now, before I go on, let me set this encounter up: I had been playing this game where I had been trying to guess who was a democrat and who was a republican based on their disposition and how their jewelry looked.  I would look at their papers to try to confirm.  I know... it was shallow, but I was bored.  Anyway,  I look at this guy and I honestly couldn't really tell by looking at him.  Looked like a cool guy in his mid forties. Didn't have on any jewelry that I could remember. The only thing that may have gave him away was his hair.  His hair looked like he was two days removed from an Esquire shoot.  Not perfect but done just enough to make me think "this fella pays extra for this... and he goes twice a week".  I look down at his paper - Republican... So when I hear him say "Now, the Democratic party...." I'm expecting to hear slander, as I had heard elsewhere in the line by other Republicans, but he surprised me...

He began to talk about the GDP of the USA and how, every time the US of A is under Republican control, GDP has gone down and how the notion of the "trickle down" economy doesn't really work.  He was against having someone run the nation like a corporation.  He said that owner's of corporations care most about one thing: the bottom line... and if they can find a way to only pay somebody 5 dollars a week to get a job done, they will do it.  Honestly, this is nothing that we haven't heard before from any Democratic/President Obama supporter, but it was when he started talking about his own personal business that I had my thoughts stirred up.

This guys says that he owns his own business; he has several employees. And while he's talking, he asked the lady a rhetorical question. He say's "If they make it so that I can get more money, but the demand isn't there, why would I hire more people?! I'm not gonna hire anybody if the demand isn't there."  And inside of me a light bulb came on... and I began to think about the bailouts and how ALL of the mega wealthy people went on trips and took vacations, etc... I remembered the story of the how the guy got paid MILLIONS to close down several Home Depot Expo... and then I made it personal and I asked myself a question...

I said to myself: Self?

Myself said: Huh?

I said: If I already had a well running, very efficient business that, somehow, began gaining substantially more profits, why would would I go hire more people?  Without additional demand, what would those people do? Why would I hire people to do NOTHING?  I wouldn't... I would pocket that money.  I may give some to the employees currently there... maybe... since it does make business sense to keep them happy... but I'm not hiring new people just to give them money while they sit on the clock and twiddle their thumbs.  Why would I?! Just to say I'm helping the jobs market?! That doesn't really make business sense to me; not when I would get the same effect donating to the charity of my choice.  At least that way I would have yet another tax write off at the end of the year.  (sidenote: I'm not that cold-hearted.  I'm just trying to think logically like I think a corporation would think.) Thinking as a corporation, there is just no way that I would just GIVE money to people to do absolutely nothing since I don't have any work for them to do.  And I know what you're thinking... "if you gave them a job, they would have money and more demand would be there."  This is true.  BUT it is also dependent on EVERY corporation operating the same way.  Meaning... you have to get the likes of Donald Trump to stop telling people that they're fired and tell him he is going to have to hire people that he has no use for whatsoever.  There would have to be a significant amount of businesses operating the same way and giving people jobs for any amount of new demand to even be significant enough to matter.

Here's the truth as far as my eyes can see: People with lower income are the spenders; this is majority of your consumer base. Higher income people are the investors and savers. At the end of the day we need BOTH the rich investors and the lower income consumers to have at least SOME sort of income. Investors are needed to keep new businesses afloat... but without the consumers there would be no need for the new businesses at all.

In my opinion, gasoline prices caused the issues.  $300 a month in gas became like another big ticket purchase that many couldn't afford since they were already living check to check. It was gas that made food prices go up and once the food prices went up, the rest was history.   "Broke" people had decisions to make: Buy this new TV/pair of shoes/house/car... or eat. If they cure the prices of stuff we must consume (gas, bread, eggs, milk, etc.) so that they are no longer ridiculous, people will have more money to blow on stupid stuff.   Consumers go up, demand goes up. Demand goes up, new hires go up. New hires go up, consumers go up. It's the circle of economic life.

(Sidenote: It's a global economy.  It's a good idea to vote based on the person you feel has the best foreign policy because, if the other nations stop working with us... well... let's just hope other nations don't stop working with us... we don't want to see that happen.)

LUV - The Movie

And so we have something to cheer for.... Introducing LUV - starring Common. LUV might actually be love worthy. The trailer seems like it could shape up to be one of those memorable films in the black community. Let's just hope the character development is good and the plot of story isn't too simple (I'd honestly like to see more depth in the characters and stories of more black films... Maybe that's just me though). At any rate... The homeboy hipped me to this and I thought it would be good for the people of 713street to see... So I posted it. Watch below and enjoy.

 

The Smartglass App by Microsoft

Hey man... Microsoft might be onto something with this "Smartglass" app... I think this is something that I would really enjoy having on my phone and tablet (whenever I get one). It basically connects phones, tablets and Xbox 360s like one seamless device. See the video below to see how it operates.


 You can visit the official Smartglass web page for even more details by clicking here.

The Interview Period


Celibacy and abstinence - two very real words and two of the more difficult topics to tackle by young males. Why am I talking about it, you ask? Well... Not long ago I was dealing with a young lady who didn't quite understand my hesitation and then decline of her sexual advance. It put a strain on our "friendship" (and I use that term very loosely) and we never recovered. At the time of her "offering" I had known her just about 4 days. I told her it was too soon and I don't sleep with strangers. I know a lot guys would have taken advantage but, say what you want to, the decision I made was safe and it's smart. Anyway, I was telling my homeboy about it and, after I gave him the full story he says "Oohhhh no! If we are looking for long term, that's somethin you RUN from!" To which I replied: "Exactly. And that's exactly what I ended up doing." But I don't think she looked at things the same way...

 Here's my issue...

People use sex too often as a tool to help convince somebody (who may not be all that interested in them) that they are a good "investment" - if can use that terminology. As a male, I want sex..... but as a MAN I want to be able to make an accurate judgement on who I want to be in relationship with without "but her (insert term for female sex organ) so GOOD THO!" being a determining factor that tips the scales in her favor when I really need to look at the fact that this girl (for example) is mentally and emotionally unstable with substance abuse issues and has been flexing with her credit card so she won't look broke; only to have to check her once we start officially dating and she becomes sadly mistaken that HER debt and inability to maintain any type of budget is automatically my problem.  That wasn't a real situation for me... but it's a very real situation; so high off of the sex that you can't see that the person you're foolin around with is someone who needs to be in a straight jacket with a padded room.

Sex was never meant to be used as a "tool" to keep; in my eyes, it should be the ultimate prize for the commitment you make to one another based on the "worthiness" that you prove over time with your CHARACTER. You attract with your looks. You keep with character. You reward permanent serious commitment with sex. Truthfully and honestly, the only way to be 100% ALMOST sure, is to be married (I say almost because some people don't even take that seriously these days). Sleeping with somebody within a week puts you in prime contention to be elected as a jump off... and a "jump off" will be just that - treated like a harlot with no hope of ever being the wife (or "wifey" for that matter). The way I think now, if I don't have what I deem as a serious, committed relationship, I will abstain from sex. The fact that I'm a mature adult who has had enough meaningless "sessions" drove me to think "it's best we part ways before we waste anymore of each other's time".

 But I wonder.... Is this common knowledge? Does Generation Y get that, for the most part, sex during week 1 doesn't typically lead to anything meaningful? I want to say yes... I want to say that majority of us have some type of understanding that, if you don't build some form of relational foundation, the house will fall during the first storm... but I just can't. True enough, there are exceptions to the rule. I know of one couple who says they slept together on the first night, moved in with each other shortly after, eventually got married and have been "happily" married for several years... but I would imagine that that wife sleeps with one eye open. In order to avoid the "hoetic hoetry" known as infidelity, she needs to stay on point. All her energy has to be focused on keeping his eyes from wandering and who wants to live like that? (Honestly, based on what I've been hearing from the horror stories of the friends of homeboys, he might need to sleep with one eye open too! I know of TWO situations where women have cheated on men and came home with another man's baby in their belly. Not only did you cheat but, no protection?! Come on son... SMH.)

 The longer I live, the more I observe that relationships built on lust typically die the same way. I have seen SO MANY relationships (and marriages) die because of infidelity, which is basically just a complete lack of self control. But I wonder... Has "lust at first sight" become the new norm? Have women just adapted to the fact that men want sex and caved to the pressures built by today's sexually driven society or are the situations I've seen, heard and dealt with the exception to the rule? Somebody please let me know. And understand that, for the sake of the argument, I don't even have to take it as far waiting until marriage; I get that majority of humans don't have the discipline to wait that long, but am I being unrealistic to expect you to wait until I'm sure I even want you around when the new year rolls around?!

This can't be it.

I just won't believe it.

I gotta interview you before I practice baby making with you (especially since sometimes during the practice you get that interruption to your regularly scheduled program where you are notified that this is not a test, i.e. birth controls that aint controlling and condoms that ain't "condom-ing"). My kid can't be stupid or crazy (or too ugly for that matter) and neither can his/her mother... And 4 days just aint long enough for me to make proper judgement. But maybe that's just me... 

Meet Clyde Moonshine

This is Clyde... Clyde Moonshine. He makes music.  The CD might be something like the music you would expect a Marvin Gaye, Andre 3000 and Rick James collaboration to sound like in this new millenium.  You should listen to the track below and purchase his project by clicking on the large photo at the bottom. If you like music, you might actually enjoy it.


 

CLICK THE COVER
Available on iTunes.

 



Samuel L. Jackson says "Wake The F**k UP!"

So... Samuel L. Jackson has decided to make a campaign ad for President Barack Obama and, as usual, he does it in hilarious, yet effective, fashion. Watch the video below. Even if you aren't an Obama fan, you have to admit, the video is funny.

Extreme Life Logging

This is awesome.... and scary.  I don't really like the idea of life logging.  Why, you ask? Because sometimes the story is better than the real thing.  Example:  That one boring house party you went to.  This house party wasn't anything like the movies... but the stories are awesome.  You go there... people get drunk...  somebody starts fighting over something dumb... you go home.  The next day you see stuff on twitter about how awesome of a time somebody who was at the same party had, how they cant feel their legs and how they don't remember everything but they remember that they had an absolute BLAST!

And you ask yourself: Self?

Yourself says: Huh?

And you reply: Were we at the same party as "such and such"? Because the last I remember we sat on the couch the whole night with the one "not all that cute" girl watching the purses who was trying to give you rhythm while all of her cute friends danced with each other and some corny guys wearing jeans with church shoes and too small polo shirts joked around with alcohol in their hands while looking from a distance and saying "shawty bad".  At the same time, somebody decides to bring "sand to the beach" in a whore's attire, gets mad cause a random fella tried to holler at her and she aint shut the new guy down, which causes a war of words over "disrespect" - eventually leading to a fight.  Party over.

Old Spice Muscle Music Commercial

Man... This. Is. Hilarious.  Terry Crews is a funny guy and Old Spice makes great commercials.  The two of them together = unforgettable.





P.S. The end is unbelievable.

Re-inventing the Toilet

While you were playing Call of Duty, Bill Gates was somewhere being brilliant. He has come up with an idea that could possibly change the world forever. This man and his foundation is leading the charge towards an effort to permanently augment the toilet into an asset that could ease the pain caused by resource shortages that we could possibly experience in the near future. Turning waste into fuel and water sounds amazing to me. If any one of these teams of scientists pulls off this amazing feat, it would go down in history as one of the greatest inventions created by any of the living generations. They wouldn't only be changing the toilet; they would be changing the future. At any rate, watch the video.

 

Savage's Mixtape - Drop Dead

Yeah.... This doesn't need a story.  You've met Savage. Watch his music video then click the cover pic at the bottom to get the CD. It's free. You're Welcome.


The Dark Knight Rises with a 13 minute "Trailer"

Well...
It's about that time...  July 20th is a week away and, on that day, the Dark Knight Rises will begin to appear in theaters.  Hopefully this will be as epic or even more epic than the last one. The "trailer" below is 13 minutes long. If a movie can give away that much information before it hits theaters, it's either gonna be really spectacular (with spectacular-ness to spare) or really long... or both.  At any rate, peep the video below and enjoy.

"Happy 'White People's Independence' Day" - Chris Rock

I'm sorry but this is hilarious to me. 


Comedian Chris Rock called July 4th "White People's Independence day" and then followed that up with "the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed the fireworks". Supposedly, "non-minorities" have been in an uproar ever since... According to the article, there were even cases where people were saying that racism exist because people keep bringing it up... I wanted to dismiss it as a random (because twitter is very random) but then I say it again... in a completely unrelated incident; on a completely different site.  I saw the following quote:


This was in reference to a Carl Crawford responding to a heckler who yelled racist remarks.  So it his fault he heard racist remarks?! Yeah...

The original article pulled the same "Its your fault you see this because you look for it" angle with Chris Rock. We all know Chris Rock isn't a racist. This wasn't reverse racism; it was a comedic spin on the TRUTH. Majority of the black people brought over into this nation weren't freed on the 4th of July... It was a LONG time before Juneteenth happened. And even after it did, we still had to lock arms for years after and sing "We shall overcome". I have no more words for this.

Meet Zulu Faz

This is a rapper who is the brother of a good video guy I know.  Check out their work. It's pretty good stuff.

The video came to me with the following words:


Here's another video from the artist you've come to know as Zulu Faz. The video is a intense boxing training video that likens his  intense approach to how he attacks life in general. Filmed by Tamarcus Brown, Faz captures the essence of competition and hard work with his flow  within Brown's visuals. Please take a moment to check it out. I appreciate your time + effort. Thanks.

REAL Reality TV

So... I dont like reality TV too much. Not because it's not interesting, but because it pains me to view the foolishness depicted in it. It's The fact that the foolishness depicted features coonery by my own race in my own city is just additional salt in the wound. You see, ignorance may be fine in spells when it's displayed in small markets, but it is NEVER cool to show foolishness of this magnitude to the masses. The city of Atlanta is getting a bad rep and I'm pretty sure people on the outside think that this minority of minorities is the majority here, but it is not. I may act foolish sometimes on youtube for laughs but, please believe, between the hours of 8am and 6pm me and my friends handle business... and we do it with class. At any rate, watch the video below. It pokes fun at one of the currently popular reality TV shows. Enjoy!

 

Meet Uncle Drew...

You know what? I don't know if everyone on the court was in on the joke or not, but this "extended commercial" by Pepsi was good. I enjoyed it. It took me somewhere I ain't been since "Grandmama" stepped on the court. Not much to say other than "this guy has something special" and not in the Marvin Williams way that warranted him the number 2 pick in the draft even though he wasn't starting for UNC as a freshman when he got drafted... Kyrie Irving is the man. I just wish he could get a little more publicity outside of Cleveland. The nation rarely see's him hoop on TNT.

Ferrari FFX replica

It's official... some people have entirely too much money and time on their hands.  Peep this video.


The fella has created a Ferrari FFX replica... with bicycle parts.  He calls it the "Fahrradi Farfalla FFX" I'm not sure that this would have any real purpose or use other than being able to say "I have a Ferrari FFX replica that is powered by my own legs" and that is what is so puzzling.  Is this to be sold as art?  I don't know.  I applaud the talent but this is one effort I really don't understand.

Meet Paul Cadden

This. Is. Unreal.... Literally.

Came across this article while looking on the internet and was AMAZED. This fella named Paul Cadden is a PHENOMENAL artist. Armed with a pencil as his weapon of choice, he creates some of THE most fantastic, photo-realistic, drawings my eyes have ever seen. It's what they call "Hyperrealism".

Take a look at some of his drawings below.

"We're just talking... that's all."

The other day on twitter someone was talking about how things use to be when we were young.  She spoke about how we use to tell people that we like them and, if they said they liked us back, you were together/in a relationship. Once you were in a relationship, you begin trying to get to know the person and you "grew" together. It was real innocent "kid" stuff.

After she spoke of the innocence of our youth, she spoke about "talking". Somewhere along the line, we were introduced to the notion of "talking"... which (I feel) ruined everything; it's the purgatory of relationships. You end up being in the relationship and doing relationship stuff (which includes sex for some) without the title/commitment. She finished up her statements by saying that she was "talking" to someone right now but, if she defined it by the old school definition, she would currently be "in a relationship".

So I started thinking....

Would it be smart to turn around and take it back to the days of being "in a relationship" immediately or is it best to leave things as they are? 

One side of me likes today's "talking" phase.  Moving too quickly is foolish and could leave you tangled up with a crazy person much longer than necessary if your initial judgement is a bad one. Talking is safe and provides you with an easy escape if you find out the idiot you're dealing with is an idiot.  Done properly (and quickly enough), no serious feelings get hurt. No real damage is done. You just snatch it off like a bandaid and keep it moving. Both parties can part ways fairly unscathed - you just stop "talking" to one person and start "talking" to another. 

 The other side of me hates today's "talking".  This is mainly because too many people are getting RUINED by fools who think it's OK to "talk" indefinitely while doing everything that a real relationship entails in addition to "talking" to or "kicking it" with other people at the exact same time. It's more of an "undefined, open relationship". This causes ALL TYPES of hurt, pain, and heartache as people get led on for years; only to find out that the other member of their party has no real intention of settling down with them.

You want a real relationship, so you give it your all. They love the "all" that you are giving them freely, so they take it... but they want no part of that commitment; they're just "talking".

Honestly, I feel like in any case, the "situation" needs to be defined - maybe not immediately, but definitely before you start doing any serious relationship stuff. The part that most our generation is missing is the area in between "talking" and being "in a relationship".  This part is the grey area known as "dating" or "courting" (when was the last time you used that word to describe what you were doing?).  You see... if "talking" is the "getting to know you" stage, and relationships = "almost, but not quite married", then dating is the in between/transitional piece that links the two.  I think it gives just enough extra validity to a situation and says to the person "Congratulations! I'm weeding out the other people in my life that I'm 'talking' to and you are one of the finalist."  More people need to define their situations like this so that people will always clearly know where they stand. 

In the end, I say "talking" is good... as long it's done with the purpose of growing toward something more clearly defined within a reasonable amount of time.  Otherwise, put them in the friend zone and leave them there.  Whether or not you give them "benefits" is on you, but don't complain when they introduce you to their friends as their "friend"... I could be wrong, but it makes sense to me...

Just cause it was funny...

Taking a break from all the serious stuff to laugh a lil bit.
Laughter is a cure all - Do a lot of it.

Sex Changes For Kids

You know what.... If you dont see a problem with THIS... you have a problem. Why on God's green earth would you allow a 8 year old to get a sex change?!? This just upsets me. A lot of a kid's identity, ideals, and mentalities are formed by their surroundings. It's a parent's job to build that kid and try to prepare them for this crazy world until they are mature enough to make major decisions on their own, not to let the kid dictate to the parents what they want before they can even talk good. Kids walk around and claim to be dogs, cats, kangaroos, and dinasours, but everybody knows you don't give them pet food; you make them eat their vegetables until they get old enough to cook for themselves. They might growl and walk around on all fours - even bite things - but you still make them walk up right and correct them when its time to go out of the house.

Why is it ok that an 18 month old girl can say "I a boy" and her parents immediately take it and run with it? Where I come from, that kid would have gotten told that they were a girl, based on their anatomy; not given hormones before they could even form a good sentence. What they decide to do with their anatomy once they have formulated an identity of their own as a mature adult is on them.

Im just sitting here thinking... Most GROWN people aint even figured out exactly who or what they want to be... and Im talking about the 25+ crowd! Children are like sponges when they are young; they soak up what they see and emulate it. To perform a permanently life altering procedure on a kid is absolutely ridiculous. I promise this "anything goes" mentality that these parents have won't end well. What if the kid changes their mind later? Why are doctors even allowed to do this to a minor? What the hell are MY future kids gonna do when trying to find a mate if they cant tell if the person they like was born with a dick or not, even if they grew up with them? I have no more words for this.

One man's trash

I saw Killer Elite the other day and during the film, Robert Deniro said something.... He said somethin to the effect of "You show me a beautiful woman and I'll show a man that's sick of dealing with her sh*t." That quote reminded me of this post that I started writing last July but never finished because... Well.... Life happened. So I'm sitting here thinking to myself about the different people I've run into over the past few years and, as I did, I recall a few people who, upon first meeting them, I asked myself "How is it possible that this person is single?"

And then I got to know them...

Hold on...

Let me put this disclaimer on here first before I really get started: I am by no means perfect. I have a few "different" mentalities that many may not agree with. I have a tendency to laugh at bad situations that aren't funny at all. I might crack a few too many jokes or "play too much" and act foolishly at the wrong time. I have a few superficialities even though I know I still need some work. In other words, like I said, I ain't perfect. In addition to this fact, know that all of these crazy characteristics characterized below could be applied to men as well; we are not exempt from being crazy. This applies to ALL people. That being said...

I found myself dealing with a lot of cute "head cases" over the past few years (and a lil into this year) - some that I attempted to date; others that I quickly placed into the friend zone - and I learned a few things that I wanna share with you all.

1. Unstable people are more dangerous than you think and they will ruin your brain cells if you let them - The crazy thing about unstable people is that they actually believe what they are doing at that moment makes the most sense. They'll also be able to justify making a completely different decision moments later as they change with the wind. They are what you get when you mix narcissistic character traits with indecisiveness - they don't know what they want but they know that whatever they decide to do in the end, it needs to benefit them the most. You will be collateral damage. No good.

2. Beware of the "victim" - I got introduced to the concept of borderline personality disorder a lil while ago. These people start out playing this "everybody I meet hurts me" role. You put on your cape to come to their rescue and its downhill from there. They go into this "You're the only one who understands me" clingy phase next. This further facilitates the "you can't leave me because I need you to live" feeling. This moment may feel like the blissful love they show on movies; full of passion as they cling on for dear life (if you haven't bounced by now, you're in trouble). Unfortunately this bliss is just another step towards their ultimate level of manipulation. You see... As soon as you get use to the bliss, its all snatched away. They'll find any and everything to complain about... And its all your fault. Your heavenly relationship will become hell. Here's where you begin doing everything in your power to make the relationship "right" again. You will be manipulated until you get fed up and, once you get to that breaking point and get ready to leave, "bliss" comes back... Because "they need you and you're the only one who understands them". Right... Lol

3. The "I deserve the best" person - Let me explain. This is not a situation where someone just has high standards. This is the "I don't like myself so I will manipulate/demean you to the point where you don't like yourself and become my puppy." You try and try and try but not even perfect is good enough. That's not a healthy situation. Please note that this mentality doesn't always come with looks, but it always comes with delusion.  Wake up and bounce before your self esteem drops.

And last but not least...

4. The "Are we exclusive?" person - You know that lil hampster wheel that the little rodents run in place on? That's you. Running fast; going nowhere. You've been going out with this person for 2 and a half months, talking on the phone all the time, and texting constantly... But you're still one of their "friends". You're number 2 of 5. They don't want a relationship with you because, if they did, you all would have some kind of clue of their intentions and thoughts towards you by now. After the age of 25, you don't really have the "Will you be my girlfriend? Circle one: Yes or No" notes anymore. You have a conversation where you both let each other know what you're looking for and, if you're both on the same page and make it through several dates with no major hiccups, just call it a day... If you aren't on the same page, leave them alone. But the "are we exclusive" person can't do that. They're trying their best to maintain all of their options for as long as possible. They don't want you to leave, but they don't want to make a decision either. In the end, there's about 2 possible outcomes: you could get selected as "the one" a year from now or... you could get introduced to their new significant other as their best "friend". I wouldn't roll the dice.

If you have any of these traits, I may have just explained to you why you're single. But hey, there's hope... One man's trash may be another man's treasure. Somebody out there may be able to deal with that behavior and claim you off the waivers list (even when you aren't claiming them).

Sh*t Rappers Say

There are officially too many of these videos now... But seeing how everybody in Atlanta between the ages of 4 and 40, both male and female, wants to be a rapper, this is very relevant. If you have watched any interviews or been around any studios, you've heard (and probably said) this stuff. Enjoy.



SideNote: Slim Thug's interview looks like it was real. If he was joking, he did a good job acting.

Homeless

Last summer I decided to venture out into the town and enjoy Atlanta's Sweet Auburn Fest with this young lady I was trying to be friends with at the time. I had a pretty decent time, but that's not what Im here to write about. I wanna talk about something that woke me up in the middle of the night after my outing.

On the walk back to the car, I hear a voice calling out "Sir! Sir!" Now, being use to this environment, I have grown accustomed to tuning out every noise that doesn't sound like the people Im with or danger. But this guy CONTINUES to yell. (Did I mention that this person is across the street?) After realizing that I was the "Sir" that the person was referring to, I look over and the person asked "Can you help me get something to eat?" I gave my automatic "Im sorry" response and kept walking. I had been trained not to give homeless people money a long time ago - not by my parents, but by working downtown and being taken advantage of by people who weren't as homeless as they pretended to be. I knew a former homeless person and he told me to NEVER give a homeless person money. "You give them money and the first thing they do is take it and get pissy drunk" he said. But this guy ain't ask me for money; he asked me to help him get somethin to eat and I didn't do it. I was selfish... but even worse, I had been conditioned to be automatically selfish without giving it a thought. So here I was feeling crazy on the inside at 3 am because I wouldn't stop to give this man $1... or even 50 cents. I didn't share at all. I didn't even think about sharing... and I lost sleep over it that night. I know many may be thinking "Dude, its not that serious." But it is. Imagine the shoe on the other foot.

I'm remembering this after going to the park with some friends of mine to help feed homeless people in the park downtown. When you don't deal with them, you tend to forget that most of these people are really on the street. They are real people, with real feelings, that - whether its their fault or not - fell on hard times. NOBODY wants to live on the street or in shelters. Im pretty sure most of them would go home to a warm bed and good meals if they could... but they couldn't. They're out here on the street freezing half to death (and boy was it cold that day). To let you know how bad off some of them were... I didn't even touch anybody that day; I was few feet back with the camera but the smell stayed on my clothes for what seemed like hours. I almost felt bad for pulling out my camera, but I was asked to do it as a favor for the homeboy who is trying to start a movement. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have even pulled the camera out. Looking through the lens of a camera kinda removes you from reality for a moment but the truth of the matter still sunk in: these weren't all derelicts who were on drugs and full of alcohol as some tried to paint them (some where a lil crazy tho); they still had a lot of pride and probably just happened to miss those three paychecks that would make most "check to check" people homeless. Some of them were asking for me not to get their faces on camera in an effort to try to save face from mass humiliation and, I imagine, with the hopes of returning to what they use to know as "normal" without having "homeless" on their resume.

I kept my video shooting brief, got back into my car, and later praised God after experiencing yet another reminder of how good we actually have it. We complain that our heated leather seats take too long to warm up... meanwhile, they don't even have a coat.

Stop.

Think about it.


Chasing Statistics



I fought myself about writing this for years... I refused.

I refused to talk about how I have bumped into so many people, both male and female, that have standards that they place on the opposite sex that are just absolutely ridiculous. They spend all day complaining about how they can't find a person who is good enough; always finding something wrong. Moving desperately from "as long as they're cute" and "as long as they have a job" to bitterly saying "I deserve a '10' who has at LEAST 3 stamps on their passport, makes at LEAST 6 figures, no kids, no previous marriages, volunteers on weekends, hits the gym 4 times a week, has a character that is on par with Jesus and a car that is less than 3 years old and runs on premium gas." Meanwhile, you just turned 30 for the 5th year in a row, are emotionally damaged (possibly beyond repair), work a dead end job in a call center, can't cook, don't wanna clean, and your best days (physically) left you around the time you dropped out of college.

But the longer I live, the more I see the need to talk about it.

I was talking to this girl for a lil while on the phone about the last guy who attempted talk to her. This was another "deal breaker moment" where she basically described a great guy but kept him in the friend zone over something to which I replied "Is that it?!" She replied "Yep"... I shook my head in disbelief. I know, in reference to the deal breaker listed in the other post, sex is a big deal for many but the thing is, her complaint wasn't even sexual. It wasn't kids. It wasn't money. It wasn't looks. It wasn't other women. It was something 98% of us would have deemed a non-factor. It was something (I felt) she could have dealt with... or at LEAST talked to the guy about it to see if this ONE (kinda small) thing could be fixed.

At this point I said to myself: "Self?"

Myself said: "Hm?"

I said: "Are you prepared to devote a lot of time and attention to this young lady, while walking on eggshells, knowing that at any point in time you could be placed into that abyss known as the friend zone in her mind for barely any reason at all (without her telling you)? Would you be ok with continuing to spend all this time (and possibly money) in an attempt to date a person - who's personality you don't even know because they have 'walls up' from being 'hurt before' - with the risk that, once you DO find out their personality (6 months down the line), you might not even like them?!"

I couldn't say yes... And that's when it clicked. I had been chasing after statistics and so was she. Had I been in love with her personality, things may have been different... But I wasn't... Even after talking on the phone for a couple months and going out a few times, it dawned on me that I still didn't have any idea of what her personality was. I'd been chasing her based on her representative; the resume she advertised and not who she really was. The situation looks good on paper - she has all her teeth and she could read. The problem is, as in basketball, just cause two players with awesome individual stats join the the same team doesn't automatically get them a ring. You gotta learn to play together. You gotta have chemistry.

From what I observe, most people are visual... at least initially. We see something we like; we go after it. Its just that simple. Now, the problem is, this physical/materialistic attraction often fails to hold our attention for longer than a few weeks. Let's be honest; no man or woman (lames aside) sits and stares at the person they are attempting to date while continuously and endlessly showering them with complements and telling them how beautiful they are. If it happens at all, it only happens for a short period of time until either a) the predator feels like the prey has given in or b) the predator gets bored. Shortly after this moment you realize that all that unnecessary, over-the-top, superficiality ain't all that important once you start actually dealing with the person. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that moment of "awestruckeness" dies very shortly after we meet and hang out a couple times, at which point your non-physical attributes need to kick in and take over... And if they don't kick in, you'll probably be left alone.

This is where many of us fail. We spend so much time trying to look appetizing (or chasing what looks appetizing) that we forget that the most important thing is our flavor. Its good to have standards, but be careful of people who appear to have it all together. A person's "statistics" and looks may grab a potential mate's attention - but personality and character KEEPS a potential mate's attention. There MUST be substance and character behind that flawless exterior.

I remember seeing long ago how fast food restaurants spray paint their food, hold them together adhesives and toothpicks and use all types of preservatives to make sure their combo looks perfect on their television commercial advertisements. They show you this perfectly stacked all beef patty accented with a slightly melted yellow american cheese square on a sesame seed bun with the freshest of lettuce and a perfectly sliced tomato on it; served with a soft drink that looks like it was specially created by Willy Wonka himself to never lose its fizz. If you ate what you saw on that commercial, there is a chance that you might die. It IS true that, on the flip side, its understandable that the company doesn't want to show you what they really deliver when you order.... you get this wimpy piece of brown lettuce, a small under-ripened tomato and a processed piece of heat lamp warmed mystery meat on a stale bun and a soda that has a little bit too much carbonated water in it - that doesn't sell.

To relate that to relationships, we DO have to sell ourselves (note: most people don't want an ignorant, ugly faced mate who can't dress) BUT we can not spend ages developing our "resume" so that, to the untrained eye, we look perfect, while completely forgetting to be a human being that other people can relate to. Sadly, many fall for the "commercial" and set the "commercial" as the goal and standard... but the commercial isn't real. And so, while chasing this dream, I've seen many end up in an endless cycle of dating the most flawed "flawless" people ever and being hurt to the point where they say "I want the sex but not the relationship" and begin to accept the notion of being single forever.

My advice? Find a cute faced person with morals and ideals close to your own and, as long as they aren't extremely lazy and selfish, give it a shot.

Sidenote: Don't hold others to a standard that you can't measure up to yourself... It'll make dating a lil easier for you.

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