One man's trash

I saw Killer Elite the other day and during the film, Robert Deniro said something.... He said somethin to the effect of "You show me a beautiful woman and I'll show a man that's sick of dealing with her sh*t." That quote reminded me of this post that I started writing last July but never finished because... Well.... Life happened. So I'm sitting here thinking to myself about the different people I've run into over the past few years and, as I did, I recall a few people who, upon first meeting them, I asked myself "How is it possible that this person is single?"

And then I got to know them...

Hold on...

Let me put this disclaimer on here first before I really get started: I am by no means perfect. I have a few "different" mentalities that many may not agree with. I have a tendency to laugh at bad situations that aren't funny at all. I might crack a few too many jokes or "play too much" and act foolishly at the wrong time. I have a few superficialities even though I know I still need some work. In other words, like I said, I ain't perfect. In addition to this fact, know that all of these crazy characteristics characterized below could be applied to men as well; we are not exempt from being crazy. This applies to ALL people. That being said...

I found myself dealing with a lot of cute "head cases" over the past few years (and a lil into this year) - some that I attempted to date; others that I quickly placed into the friend zone - and I learned a few things that I wanna share with you all.

1. Unstable people are more dangerous than you think and they will ruin your brain cells if you let them - The crazy thing about unstable people is that they actually believe what they are doing at that moment makes the most sense. They'll also be able to justify making a completely different decision moments later as they change with the wind. They are what you get when you mix narcissistic character traits with indecisiveness - they don't know what they want but they know that whatever they decide to do in the end, it needs to benefit them the most. You will be collateral damage. No good.

2. Beware of the "victim" - I got introduced to the concept of borderline personality disorder a lil while ago. These people start out playing this "everybody I meet hurts me" role. You put on your cape to come to their rescue and its downhill from there. They go into this "You're the only one who understands me" clingy phase next. This further facilitates the "you can't leave me because I need you to live" feeling. This moment may feel like the blissful love they show on movies; full of passion as they cling on for dear life (if you haven't bounced by now, you're in trouble). Unfortunately this bliss is just another step towards their ultimate level of manipulation. You see... As soon as you get use to the bliss, its all snatched away. They'll find any and everything to complain about... And its all your fault. Your heavenly relationship will become hell. Here's where you begin doing everything in your power to make the relationship "right" again. You will be manipulated until you get fed up and, once you get to that breaking point and get ready to leave, "bliss" comes back... Because "they need you and you're the only one who understands them". Right... Lol

3. The "I deserve the best" person - Let me explain. This is not a situation where someone just has high standards. This is the "I don't like myself so I will manipulate/demean you to the point where you don't like yourself and become my puppy." You try and try and try but not even perfect is good enough. That's not a healthy situation. Please note that this mentality doesn't always come with looks, but it always comes with delusion.  Wake up and bounce before your self esteem drops.

And last but not least...

4. The "Are we exclusive?" person - You know that lil hampster wheel that the little rodents run in place on? That's you. Running fast; going nowhere. You've been going out with this person for 2 and a half months, talking on the phone all the time, and texting constantly... But you're still one of their "friends". You're number 2 of 5. They don't want a relationship with you because, if they did, you all would have some kind of clue of their intentions and thoughts towards you by now. After the age of 25, you don't really have the "Will you be my girlfriend? Circle one: Yes or No" notes anymore. You have a conversation where you both let each other know what you're looking for and, if you're both on the same page and make it through several dates with no major hiccups, just call it a day... If you aren't on the same page, leave them alone. But the "are we exclusive" person can't do that. They're trying their best to maintain all of their options for as long as possible. They don't want you to leave, but they don't want to make a decision either. In the end, there's about 2 possible outcomes: you could get selected as "the one" a year from now or... you could get introduced to their new significant other as their best "friend". I wouldn't roll the dice.

If you have any of these traits, I may have just explained to you why you're single. But hey, there's hope... One man's trash may be another man's treasure. Somebody out there may be able to deal with that behavior and claim you off the waivers list (even when you aren't claiming them).

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