Raise your hand if you're tired of Superhero movies? I know I am. 2 reasons: 1) A lot of girls don't enjoy them - I like dates. 2) They tend to lack good writing and have boring/predictable plots (but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the explosions). That's why I've skipped the last few of them and I wasn't really looking forward to this one... Until I saw the second trailer. The first preview looked like more of the same "random guy who needs counseling jumping around in a ridiculous costume"... but this one actually makes the movie look like it may be worth watching.
Chasing after the heart of a woman
So Im reading online and come across this blog post. On it, the writer is questioning whether or not men are still interested in chasing women. After the questions, she just lets her readers flesh out the rest of the post with their comments and dialog between one another. One bit of conversation caught my attention because the homeboy had JUST complained of this behavior last night; that women want to be sweated for the sake of their ego/self esteem more than they want an actual relationship.
One male reader responded with this:
Are guys still interested in chasing women though? I think the problem with the chase is some women confuse being chased and pursued with being SWEATED. Some women like the attention that comes from giving your number out and never taking the guys calls, always flaking out on dates, playing games, etc. This makes some women feel like they are in DEMAND and gives them an ego boost. I think if you are interested in a guy, you should be receptive beyond just showing up for the date. I think the woman should reciprocate a conscious effort because if she doesn’t the guy will eventually wise up (no pun intended) and realize he is doing all the work and then probably move on.
A female reader responded to him and said this:
It is something to say for maturity. I’m not talking necessarily age, but mindset....Start off relatively small and work your way up. If she’s into you...she’ll have no problem reciprocating.
Personally, I feel like relationships should be like breathing - completely natural and fluid. The moment you start to feel like "if I don't call/text this person, we won't talk" is the same moment you might wanna re-evaluate the position that you might currently be in when it comes to that person's life. The last thing I would recommend to ANY individual is to be a consolation prize, "back-up plan" or "ego stroke" for someone who has no intentions of allowing you out of that much maligned area known as the friend zone - and that goes for both males and females.
On the flip side, you must consider how emotionally banged up most people are these days (again, both male and female). Oftentimes, people can be quite hesitant to let people into their inner circle just off the strength of your word; especially after being deceived by some of the worst people on this side of Hell. Things may not be as simple as they use to be when all you had to do is write "I like you, do you like me? Circle one: yes or no". This is something that HAS to be account for. With that being said, I think the REAL question that has to be raised here is not "are men tired of chasing", but instead, what are the motivations of the woman who is making the man chase and how long is long enough before she breaks the news to him - good or bad? We don't hate the chase; we hate the FRUITLESS chase. The whole purpose of the chase is the need to fulfill our hopes of eventually capturing the prize that we are after.
In the end, my advice to everyone who finds themselves in a situation like this is to.... wait... I don't really have any advice because it really just depends on the heart of the person you're chasing. I don't imagine a good person would intentionally string you along once they get an inclination of your intentions. I guess the best thing to do is to try to only attempt to date people who have high self esteem so you won't be needed as a "boost" and pray to God they don't have stupid friends in their ear giving them bad ideas about how to deal with the opposite sex.
Sometimes you just have to try...
Today, the thought popped into my head: "What REALLY happens to dreams deferred?!" I googled it to see what people had written about it... a blog appeared amongst the search results. After reading it, I peeped at a small quote listed above the author's self-portrait on her page. It said this:
“It’s impossible.” said pride. “It’s risky.” said experience. “It’s pointless.” said reason. “Give it a try.” whispered the heart.
This is a quote in the "about me" section of Judy Kinney on her blog titled"Live in the Heart of life". It moved me to say this: Even when its a road that's never been traveled on, a journey deep into the unknown, and you have no idea if you will be successful or not... sometimes you just gotta try - especially if its to get somethin that you've never had.
“It’s impossible.” said pride. “It’s risky.” said experience. “It’s pointless.” said reason. “Give it a try.” whispered the heart.
This is a quote in the "about me" section of Judy Kinney on her blog titled"Live in the Heart of life". It moved me to say this: Even when its a road that's never been traveled on, a journey deep into the unknown, and you have no idea if you will be successful or not... sometimes you just gotta try - especially if its to get somethin that you've never had.
Satisfying the Insatiable
As I walked in my office today, I was greeted by someone who I use to frequently talk to. He hit me with the "Man... we gotta do SOMETHIN!" I kind of knew where the conversation was going... I made light of it and keep it moving. As I ran up the stairs, it dawned on me: until you're happy within yourself, no amount of growth/blessing/success will ever satisfy you. As soon as you reach the level that you think will make you happy, you'll just want more. A negative outlook on life will serve as a locus that will eat away at time that you SHOULD be enjoying.
This man tried for YEARS to get this particular position within the company. He went to school, finished and began doing excellent in the job that he had before his promotion. The company then gave him a shot at this new position that he had desired for so long. A year hasn't passed yet and we're right back where we were: complaining with a hint of frustration from being unsatisfied with his current state.
Please note that I am by no means saying wallow at the bottom of the barrel and never attempt to strive for more. This post isn't about stifling your dreams and settling for mediocrity; it's about learning to have a positive and appreciative attitude and disposition WHEREVER you are so that your level of joy is not determined by the quality of your circumstances. There may be quite a few things that don't go according to your plan, but you must make a decision to NEVER let those disappointments lower the quality of your day to day life.
Happiness is a gift. It is a gift that many choose to forfeit by paying so much attention to the small things that aren't quite going perfectly. If you find life difficult and/or unfullfilling, take a few seconds every night to strictly reflect on everything that DID go right that day. Make room for happiness in your life by reducing the time spent focusing on disappointments. Or like the old William DeVaughn song says: "Just be thankful for what you've got".
This man tried for YEARS to get this particular position within the company. He went to school, finished and began doing excellent in the job that he had before his promotion. The company then gave him a shot at this new position that he had desired for so long. A year hasn't passed yet and we're right back where we were: complaining with a hint of frustration from being unsatisfied with his current state.
Please note that I am by no means saying wallow at the bottom of the barrel and never attempt to strive for more. This post isn't about stifling your dreams and settling for mediocrity; it's about learning to have a positive and appreciative attitude and disposition WHEREVER you are so that your level of joy is not determined by the quality of your circumstances. There may be quite a few things that don't go according to your plan, but you must make a decision to NEVER let those disappointments lower the quality of your day to day life.
Happiness is a gift. It is a gift that many choose to forfeit by paying so much attention to the small things that aren't quite going perfectly. If you find life difficult and/or unfullfilling, take a few seconds every night to strictly reflect on everything that DID go right that day. Make room for happiness in your life by reducing the time spent focusing on disappointments. Or like the old William DeVaughn song says: "Just be thankful for what you've got".
The Child Support Question...
This is a video from quite a while ago. The question raised is: Do you keep paying COURT ORDERED child support for a kid that you KNOW ain't yours? The subject of the initial story continued to do so. The children need role models and strong father figures, so spending time with the children is not what is in question. Remaining in the kid's life is a must, but do you keep letting the system take funds out of your paycheck? Now that's another question...
Your appearance matters
Below is a conversation that we had in the car on the way home one night a while ago. The conversation focuses on females who put their bodies on display to attract men. While appealing to the eyes, no man will take a girl who consistently dresses like a harlot to meet his mother and father. Different types of dress will get different types of attention from different types (read: varying qualities) of men. Women know how to be classy, fully clothed, and tastefully sexy - girls do not. Me personally? I prefer a woman with class and the mental capacity to understand that sex appeal is temporary - a good heart can last forever. If the person's heart isn't right, sex appeal becomes null and void the moment a you realize that the rest of what makes up the person is unbearable. At any rate, peep the video, understand the point we are trying to make, and excuse the brash language; we didn't use much tact while delivering this message.
BEWARE of Single Friends
Hadn't really sat down and wrote for a while... Partially because life has been so crazy. Nevertheless... I noticed something the other day. I noticed that a lot of great people are single because of the foolish mentalities of their very close single friend. I recognized I had a FEW of these in my life and, once I started making sure I didn't let their words carry too much weight (or stopped talking to them completely), my perspective on things changed TREMENDOUSLY. As a result, I was able to look at my actions and I began a thought process that rings true 99.9 percent of the time. It became evident that if you look at anyone long enough, you're bound to find at LEAST one thing wrong. At some point you have to stop.
An extremely critical eye can be quite detrimental to the cause while on the hunt for the "perfect" person. She's too tall, he's too short. She too fat, he's too skinny. Her feet are ugly, his feet are too small. She broke, he broke-er. She too serious, he play too much. The list could go on and on, but the truth of the matter is you're gonna have to accept SOMETHING. The trick is to determine who you are, what you need and what the absolute "deal breakers" are. This can be easily and quickly done... if you didn't have the "close single friend".
To help you recognize this person on your life, I'm gonna describe this person as I have seen and experienced them in the past.
Trait number 1: They are perpetually single.
Trait number 2: They complain about EVERYONE they meet AND everyone YOU meet (whether or not you're happy doesn't matter).
Trait number 3: They constantly remind you of what they "wouldn't deal with".
Trait number 4: Physical attraction is the end all and be all... And they make a note to point out everyone's flaws. (Note: ugly is never whassup, but "cute" and cool always beats gorgeous and evil.)
Trait number 5: They hook-up with people based on that superficiality and use that one wrong person's character flaws to justify their mentality once the relationship fails.
Trait number 6: They rarely stop to look in the mirror, do some introspection, and realize that they themselves aren't perfect.
Trait number 7: They tend to live by a "one strike and you're done" policy, which is one of the main catalyst behind trait number one.
I could be missing some things but, receiving counsel from a CLOSE single friend with the above traits will keep BOTH of you single...
There will be those who read this from top to bottom and disagree with me on everything. I want to express that I am not an advocate of settling; just an advocate of opening people's eyes to the fact that a person's CHARACTER is what is most important. Don't hook up with anything or anybody just to say you have somebody. Just make sure to take notice of a person's efforts. If the person is LEGITIMATELY trying, give them the benefit of the doubt.
An extremely critical eye can be quite detrimental to the cause while on the hunt for the "perfect" person. She's too tall, he's too short. She too fat, he's too skinny. Her feet are ugly, his feet are too small. She broke, he broke-er. She too serious, he play too much. The list could go on and on, but the truth of the matter is you're gonna have to accept SOMETHING. The trick is to determine who you are, what you need and what the absolute "deal breakers" are. This can be easily and quickly done... if you didn't have the "close single friend".
To help you recognize this person on your life, I'm gonna describe this person as I have seen and experienced them in the past.
Trait number 1: They are perpetually single.
Trait number 2: They complain about EVERYONE they meet AND everyone YOU meet (whether or not you're happy doesn't matter).
Trait number 3: They constantly remind you of what they "wouldn't deal with".
Trait number 4: Physical attraction is the end all and be all... And they make a note to point out everyone's flaws. (Note: ugly is never whassup, but "cute" and cool always beats gorgeous and evil.)
Trait number 5: They hook-up with people based on that superficiality and use that one wrong person's character flaws to justify their mentality once the relationship fails.
Trait number 6: They rarely stop to look in the mirror, do some introspection, and realize that they themselves aren't perfect.
Trait number 7: They tend to live by a "one strike and you're done" policy, which is one of the main catalyst behind trait number one.
I could be missing some things but, receiving counsel from a CLOSE single friend with the above traits will keep BOTH of you single...
There will be those who read this from top to bottom and disagree with me on everything. I want to express that I am not an advocate of settling; just an advocate of opening people's eyes to the fact that a person's CHARACTER is what is most important. Don't hook up with anything or anybody just to say you have somebody. Just make sure to take notice of a person's efforts. If the person is LEGITIMATELY trying, give them the benefit of the doubt.
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