So the other day I posed the question to a few co-workers of mine... I asked: Do you think romantic comedies have ruined love? The reason I ask is because a LOT of people seem to have this "over-romanticized" picture of love and relationships in their minds when, in actuality, that "Love and Basketball" love rarely ever happens! If that story would've been real, that fella would NOT have been outside hooping with her late at night on the night before his wedding and they DEFINITELY wouldn't have been "magically" married a few years later. Instead, she would have been single hoping she could "kick it" with him when he came in town and he probably would been well on his way to Divorce Court after marrying a woman that he just "liked" while still being in love with the girl he originally loved. But of course Hollywood wasn't going to tell the story like that because, if they did, they wouldn't have sold nearly as many tickets and they could forget about DVD sales.

The point of my question, to which they answered no, was not to promote pessimism, but to bring attention to the fact that many of us are completely delusional. I go on twitter quite often to see women speak of the type of men they want and what they want them to look like and what they want them to have, etc. On the outside of the laundry list that is their idea of the perfect man, there are some of them who complain about every dude that tries to talk to them; denying seemingly everyone because they don't like "this" or they don't wanna deal with "that" before even giving "this" or "that" a chance. And among this you get the occasional lonely tweet; the "I wish 'HE' was here" (or anybody else for that matter) or the "I'm tired of being single".

And I say to myself: "Self"

Myself say: "Huh?"

I say: "Through all my years of dealing with BS, this year especially, the one thing I learned is that most of us are full of crap. Some of our crap stinks a WHOLE LOT WORSE than others but, for the most part you WILL have to deal with something."

And that's the honest to God truth. I ain't saying stay in no mess where you're being abused, or all of his money going to child support and he expects you to pay every time yall go out, or she got a baby daddy that she live with but they're just "roommates" (LOL), or he's a pathological liar who cant keep his "manhood" in his pants. What I am saying is this.... Give a regular person a chance. I know SO many good females and males who actually WANT a relationship but tend to let good things fall by the wayside because the person doesn't meet that specific criteria that they have set up in their minds as the type of person they "deserve" when deep down inside, they're full of crap too.

Don't believe it?! Alright. Ask yourself this: when was the last time you dated what the popular peers of our society deems a "lame" and actually tried to make it work?

I'll wait...

Now, I know what you're thinking, that sounds like settling, and you don't want to settle. But before you call it settling, lets re-examine the things that would make someone lame:

1. Socially unpopular - Nobody in this world wants somebody that NOBODY in this world wants... But answer this: Do you really want somebody everybody wants or has had? Think about it...

2. Not enough money - this is resolved quickly by answering the following questions: "Are they at the age where it's socially acceptable to have an entry level starter job or be a full time student or at least a good excuse why they may be moving a little slower than their peers", "Do they have ANY goals that may resolve this issue of broke-ness", and "Are they legitimately trying?" If you can answer yes to each of those questions, re-evaluate your decision. If not... politely tell the loser to kick rocks.

3. Inability to dress - completely superficial. Go shopping with them. Buy the clothes if you have to and tell them they look awesome in it to boost their self esteem. Not a good excuse.

Honorable mention:
Not cute - It IS important to be physically attracted to them; the face most of all... but if the rest of their body ain't "perfect" you CAN take them to the gym. Even still, I can't be a reasonable person and tell you to be with someone you can't stand to look at in the face. Can't really use this as a defining characteristic of lame though, because there are some VERY ugly popular people in this world.

At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that your dream person may not be your "dream" person. It may not come together the exact way that you want it to, in the exact package that you want it to come in. They may be short; they may be tall. They may be big; they may be small. They could be hood; they could be rich. But don't judge a book by its cover. You need to locate the person that has an earnest willingness to be a perfect person. The main reason for leaving someone alone who you just met for the first time, barring bad hygiene, bad genetics or obvious psychotic issues, is horrible character and personality. I understand this reason for letting someone go but, to be honest, this is something that still it takes a little bit of time to accurately access and, in order to do so, you would have to first give them a shot. If you can find absolutely NOTHING in common with that person, fine - let them go. But chances are you'll be able to find something yall can do together.

-The Man in Black

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